I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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