Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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