it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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