when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
