What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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