Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
