i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize