don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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