Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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