she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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