A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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