; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
