I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
