My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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