Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
