Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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