While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
