So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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