Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
