I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
