I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Drunk is not a location!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
