Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
