Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
