This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
