Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
