So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need to calm my uterus...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
