We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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