i think i have herpe
just one?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
