your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
