I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
