Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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