Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
