I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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