Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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