we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
