she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
