that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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