5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
as a side note pls kill me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
