Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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