Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
