your room smells of hookers.
And success
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
