quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I am naked and annoyed.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
