make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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