i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Randomize
