Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
