spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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