he referred to my room as the tit cave...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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