I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
