So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
