one might say we're banned from that church
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
