similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
