He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
